Ah! The topic which can bring countries to war. The words ‘feminism’, ‘misogyny’ ,and ‘misandry’ are thrown around like jargon these days. Forget to hold the door for a lady? – misogynist, pay your share of the bill? – feminist, have a girls night out?- misandrist. We have a label for just about every action and opinion, which has now negated the very definition of the words. Labels; It’s trending hot . Why do we feel the need to belong to one? A person is not simply a person anymore. You are either a Muslim or a bigot, a homosexual or extremist, black or white. But then again, those are discussions to be had another day. For now, I raise my brow to those women who abuse feminism as an excuse instead a right, and men who have invented a counter term (although used as satire mostly) such as ‘Meninism’ (even my thesaurus fails to recognize the word. Suggested word: meningitis.)
I have had this debate on more than one occasion with women of divergent opinions. My perspective usually tends to offend women mistaking it as an anti-feminist outlook whereas ironically men find me overtly feminist. The simple statement which ignites a debate is this – I think women are natural nurturers whereas men are bread winners. Does that mean I wish women to be domesticated within the four walls? No. I think women these days have begun using personal empowerment as an excuse to shun their baser responsibilities (Here come the death stares!). Let me be more precise. Unemployed wives on my side of the world have become exaggeratedly lazy. I see women quite deliberately and voluntarily wasting away their days binge watching TV shows or taking that extended nap every third hour or so, when they could very well tend to their household chores or better, apply themselves to making a career. Such women argue with their spouse or partners about how they are not their “maids” and should be given the luxury of hiring help even when their husbands are pinching pennies to meet ends. Now you are probably thinking such women don’t exist any longer and my post is a decade too late in coming. Sorry to burst the bubble, but there are plenty of examples.
For decades – Hell! centuries – women have been oppressed and told their place is at home behind a stove preparing meals for the man of the house but now that our time has come, it is not only disappointing but rather shameful of women to saunter through life without accomplishing much. I give housewives and stay-at-home mothers the highest regard because not only is their presence dire to the lives within their household but are also usually given no or less credit for their rather large daily contribution. However, I stand by what I said earlier, there are plenty who have now succumbed to leading their lives from under the covers , nagging at their men unnecessarily. It seems to me we have now switched roles. What we used to criticize in men for being ungrateful and leaving women unacknowledged , we now impart the same on them.
When I shared this with one of my best friends, she responded saying it is only right after having met with centuries of oppression that men be given the taste of their own medicine. Is it fair? No. Is it happening? Yes. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t suggest women should be on hands and feet catering to their mans desires. I just think if we wish for equal rights not only in a relationship but as a lifestyle , then it is time we treat men equally and not apply methods for them to submit to us. Submission should not be expected from either side. We stand shoulder to shoulder, not leash to hand.
For instance, I have seen couples waging power war against one another. Like I said, women tend to conjure rules such as “Ironing is not a woman’s job” and tie it to feminism by adding “If I wanted to iron for a man, I’d work at a laundry with twice the pay.”. Again, it is nobody’s ‘job’ to iron clothes at home. Your spouse or partner can very well iron for you, if you for him/her. But, to start arguments for a task as mundane as this seems melodramatic. Similarly, men can make every task around the house seem like a “woman’s job”. So why can’t men and women find common ground? In my opinion, men and women have withered tolerance for one another over time with each seeking to be alphas. Compromise has begun to be synonymous with weak and spineless. I do not mean to badger or target women, maybe I am hard on my gender expecting better from us. We are an incredible populace, with exceptional potential, so why waste away and fall to complacency?
If as working women we demand equal pay, then as housewives we should also practice equal repay. Your husband works to provide for you, so show him care where it is due. Similarly, men cannot expect their wives to go out of their way to comfort them. You are partners, not master nor slave.
I say we quit trending feminism or meninism, and be what we are – human. A man can never be a superior gender when their production depends on womankind. It takes two equal parts to make a whole. Be whole, be human.